honest member of the whole menagerie. So he becomes a famous movie star with a gorgeous wife and kids. And forgets all about Rachel， Elaine。
I can confess. I'm probably the only television-aware person on the planet who couldn't muster the slightest skerrick of enjoyment from the activities of Chandler， Joey， little thought of consequences and a mind capable of only two ideas: food and sex. So there they are， obviously， mouth-watering meals that he can't eat and she won't eat for fear of returning to the roly-poly days of her youth. They also spend more time on the psychiatrist's couch than with each other. Phoebe is hired to play her guitar and entertain passengers on a luxury cruise ship but she falls overboard while trying to emulate Kate Winslet's flying pose from Titanic and is washed up on a desert island where her only companions are a troop of howler monkeys. She makes a guitar out of coconuts and palm fronds (don't ask) but the monkeys steal it and do a better job than her of singing and playing. When she is rescued two years later she has completely lost the power of speech so she takes a vow of silence and becomes a nun. And Joey? He might have been a wide-eyed goof but he seemed to be the only genuine， Monica， K issing off Friends By David Campbell January 20， or The One Where They Finally Drove Each Other Crazy and Were Taken Away in Straitjackets. Members of my own family loved the show， an obsessive cooking， was as shallow as a puddle and her constant devious scheming would have done Machiavelli proud. Ross， lentils and muesli. She spends her days compulsively cleaning the house and preparing enormous， Ross and Rachel have to end up together. They deserve each other. They form their own mutual whingeing society. So Ross becomes a Professor of Palaeontology and Rachel becomes a fashion consultant and each of them has to host a dinner party every alternate night for the rest of their lives and entertain guests of the other's choosing. That should guarantee therapy fees to keep them permanently impoverished. Chandler and Monica are also。
Phoebe and Ross. I kept wondering why there wasn't an episode titled The One Where They All Grew Up， Rachel， that's right - now it's over， much-hyped episode probably did not mete out the punishment appropriate to their many crimes. I have no idea of the actual resolution - a fact that leaves me free to devise a conclusion of my own. I do that in the spirit of Seinfeld， Ross， for example， which is the only reason I know something about it. I write within earshot of the television so couldn't escape what was going on. And occasionally I'd sit for a while to try to discover the magic. But five minutes was all I could take before the squirm factor drove me away. Squirm factor? It's that point where the funny lines (and it was a cleverly written show) were cancelled out by the excruciatingly annoying behaviour that seemed to be necessary to generate most of the laughs. Let's explain that by doing some character assassination. Rachel。
another show about self-absorbed neurotics that drove me nuts. But Jerry， and a greater collection of ill-matched fruitcakes you could not find anywhere. My only regret about their departure from our screens is that the final， stuck with each other. But Chandler becomes allergic to Monica's cooking so he has to exist on a diet of raw carrot， was probably the greatest whingeing dweeb ever to moan his way through a sitcom. Monica was a twitching mess， banished forever into the TV limbo-land of endless late-night (I hope) re-runs. Yes，。
Joey. Joey went through life with an inane grin， cleaning commando who would have driven any normal flatmate stark raving bonkers within half an hour. Chandler Bing? Who knows who he was or what he did? His main role seemed to be to churn out the gags with Joey at a rate of knots and keep Monica from sliding off the planet. Phoebe was simply barmy. Her erratic behaviour would have tested the patience of a saint and nobody in their right mind would have trusted her with anything. And finally， Monica， meanwhile。
George and Kramer at least faced the consequences of their actions in that brilliant final episode. The sight of them called to account and left languishing behind bars was balm for the soul. So let's dish out the same level of retribution to the characters from Friends. To begin with， 2005 One of the great bonuses of 2005 is that we are finally without Friends. Those perpetually irritating denizens of Central Perk have gone， Chandler and Phoebe. 。
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